The Fine Game of Nil

Q: The Fine Game of Nil. What’s that about? That’s a pretty strange name for a website about your approaching bundle of joy isn’t it?
A: The domain name “The Meaning of Life” was already taken by an outfit I’d rather not be associated with, so I used its anagram instead. It might be a little dark, but it’ll work out as we’re planning on naming the kid Nietzsche. Besides, I like my humor like I like my coffee. Black.

So far, Emily and I have been able to resist the urge to start to start buying all sorts of cute baby stuff.  Almost.  Somewhat un-surprisingly, I was the one to crack first.  But only because what I found was so awesome and possibly unavailable when it would be more age appropriate.  This is why I now have stashed away in my tool box, three sets of Mr. McGroovy’s Box Rivets. What are these exactly?  Basically, little plastic bolt, rivet looking things designed to bolt together refrigerator boxes and build things like castles and forts and cars and stuff.  Seeing as how I have many fond memories of playing in the various structures my parents put together for me, like a big pink cardboard playhouse and an awesome space ship made out of fiber drums, I just got really excited about being able to do that kind of stuff with my kid.  It’ll just be really hard to leave them on the shelf until s/he gets past the choking hazard stage.  Maybe they’ll come in handy as a temporary attachment for a structure held together with construction adhesive. I can completely understand why my father use to say that he loved having me around as an excuse to build stuff and play with things and go running around out in the woods.

As of Sunday we are officially 11 weeks and 1 day.

We had our first real ultrasound back in late December, with pictures and everything. While we were watching on the screen the little bugger was all sorts of wiggling around for us, and we could see his heart going strong and count that he had the proper number of arms and legs and everything.

Previously at the doctor’s office, they’d used an audio only ultrasound to hear the baby’s heartbeat, and from that I was pretty sure that Emily was going to give birth to a helicopter. These pictures however pretty well verify that we’re going to be having a frog. On one hand that simplifies things as instead of turning the office into a nursery, I can just dig a pond in the back yard. However this also means that some day I’ll have to have an awkward conversation explaining amplexis.

I am firm believer in, and as far as I know sole inventor of the concept of social chelators. A chelator is a substance use to bind other substances into a complex making them easier to access, process or sequester. Chelation therapy is commonly used for lead or arsenic poisoning in order to sequester the heavy metals into an inert form that the body can effectively excrete. See also the Wikipedia entry on chelation…

A social chelator then is a group or construct, for example cults, or Precious Moments figurines, which serves to bind together and identify a group of individuals tagging them for easy avoidance in daily life.
Thus by living my life in such a way that I would rarely enter a shop by the name of “Teddy Bears on Main Street” I can significantly reduce the chances that I will find myself discussing Precious Moments figurines.

The concept behind this website, at least for the moment, is a consciously designed social chelator. While I understand that there are a significant number of people who are quite interested in the developing story of Emily and I’s first child, there are also a significant number who are not. By assembling this page I can establish a clear and easily avoided location for all those people falling into the second category, and feel confident anyone still here is keenly interested in seeing the latest ultrasound pictures and hearing my musings on the ongoing saga of the Holman child.

Welcome.